The Time I Found God In A Trailer Park (Pt. 2)

We started driving towards the highway and he told me to go south on 75. In my mind I assumed we’d be going north. I was way more familiar with places north of Mockingbird at that time. He directed me to exit Martin Luther King Blvd. off 45 which for those that don’t know is what 75 becomes once in passes downtown. An area I had never ventured into. We pulled up to this house which was his family’s. As we sat there outside he told me that he owned his cousin money and they probably wouldn’t give him the key that he gave to him as a spare unless he repaid him. I told him I only had this $100 bill that I had from the night prior. I kind of assumed he’d say nevermind but he said that was fine and he’d get me change from him. I wasn’t overly alarmed but somewhat annoyed as I waited outside for a while. When he came outside he had this tall large black man with him. He opened the back door and got in as well. I was confused but quickly the man introduced himself and they explained that the cousin wasn’t there and we needed to go down the street to another house and find him. 

We ended up going from house to house and each time I waited in the car. I was annoyed at myself for giving him my money and wasn’t expecting this long journey for the night. When they got back in the car the second time I started to feel overwhelming panic in my chest. I started voicing this strange feeling. I didn’t feel anxiety. I don’t think I knew what anxiety was then. I felt a wave of fear wash over me. As I was voicing this, the black man in the back said he had to go suddenly and asked me to stop the car and just got out. It was strange but I was glad. 

I told the guy that I needed to take him back to Mockingbird. He agreed. We headed back north when he told me that he wanted to stop by his parent’s house. I asked where it was. He instead just fed me directions as they unfolded. We ended up in Highland Park. We pulled up this great mansion. He got out and knocked on the door. This man and woman invited him in. I saw them through their big windows talking in a dining room. Then the guy came outside and back to my car. I immediately felt better about the situation. That was his parent’s. He is a good guy. How silly of me to feel so scared suddenly.

I then drove him back to the Dr. Pepper station. He got kind of panicky and asked me to take him back to his cousin’s house because if his girlfriend found out that he was out with me then he’d be in so much trouble. This story seemed… your girlfriend has been here the whole time? How does this make sense? This guy was very charming, and I don’t mean in a romantic way. Like I feel like I could be saying no but yes was the only thing that would come out of my mouth. 

I drove back south but then started to think WHAT THE FUCK am I doing? I started to tell him that I needed to go home and couldn’t keep doing this and was there anywhere I could take him on the east side of town. He started to freak out and say No you have to do this No-NO and grabbed my wheel as I was avoiding the exit for 45 and veered me towards it.

I went silent.

We exited MLKJr Blvd. again. This time I went to the left and entered an vacant lot. Suddenly my car was swarmed with people. Out of no where. I felt so much panic. This time the guy didn’t get out of the car. He just started slapping hands with some guys and then the guy told me to back up and leave.

I got back on the highway and headed east saying that… I really had to go home. It had been 4-5 hours at this point. He agreed and told me I could drop him off at his friend’s house. He instructed me to exit Lawnview/30. I’d never taken that exit before. We took a right and a couple streets down we took a left into this trailer park. 

So my main emotion right now is angry. Annoyed. Taken advantage of. 

We pull into the park and I tell him bye. He says, “OH, let me give you your money back now.” And I said that’s cool. He starts looking around in the car. 

“I think it dropped between your seats. Can you turn on the light?”

I just cracked my door to make the light go on because the manual switch was broken.

Suddenly, he jumps over in my lap. It freaked me out so I put one foot out of the car and stood up.

“Oh my gosh! You scared me!”

He looked up at me and said, “You should be scared.”

And just like that he shoved me out of the car and sped off.

It happened so quick, I feel like i stood there five seconds just re registering what happened. I let out a scream. I gasped and grabbed my chest afraid he would come back. The pure bewilderment of the moment made me let out another scream. I was horrified. It hit me in that moment that he was getting drugs that whole time. I felt sick. I fell to the ground and continued to scream. 

Not a single person came out of their trailers.

Maybe 3 minutes went by and I shakily started to walk. I’d walk a little bit then start to have a panic attack and hyperventilate and fall to the ground again. When a car would drive by I would think to wave them down then be overcome with so much fear that they would hurt me. Or what if it was that guy coming back to kill me.

In the midst of this breakdown...suddenly this bellowing voice stopped everything.

“This happened for a reason.”

In that moment time stopped all around me as my life flashed before my eyes. Showing me all these ...things that I had done...my whole life that led to this point. That I was constantly choosing evil every single day. Like everyone I slept with. How they treated me. The friends that I kept. The way I treated myself. How I treated my family.

Just as quick as it came on, it stopped. I could hear the sounds of the highway up again. A large red truck pulled up next to me. The man inside asked if I needed a ride. I had just had this spiritual awakening moment. I don’t think this man was ready for that. I asked him for help and I think he was wanting a prostitute… because he asked me if I was a prostitute. I started crying and asking him if he was a good person. He just stared ahead not responding. We pulled into a dark gas station around the corner. He told me to go use the phone inside. As I opened the door I asked him to please wait for me. 

Before I closed the door behind me he squealed away. My panic attack started up again as I screamed and ran to the gas station doors. They were locked but there were lights on inside. I banged on the doors begging for help. No one came. 

Suddenly I notice a figure in the dark walking down the sidewalk. I start to walk towards him but then stop frozen in fear. I just sit down on the curb and curl up instead. He walked over and asked me if I was okay. Again I asked if he was a good person. I couldn’t stop asking that over and over again. He assured me he was and let me use his phone.

The police arrived two hours later. They treated me like shit and treated me like a crack head when I was having a mental breakdown. My mother came to pick me up. Seeing my mother is a sobering experience. Even if I’m on the verge of complete devastation, I have to calm my mother down first. She was angry. How could I be so stupid. 

I was afraid to sleep. I was afraid to leave the house. My mom took me with her to Galveston a couple days later because I was too afraid to be alone. A man approached the car asking for money and I felt like I could see the devil in his eyes. Again I had a panic attack. 

It changed my views on people. I had gotten fucked over by people before but I never thought someone would take everything I owned. My car was all I had. I lived out of my car. It taught me to not care for material things in the same way. Maybe in a negative way. I’ve never cared about anything that hasn’t been destroyed. At that time I truly believed that. 

Later on I heard that my friends were hanging out a week later and were laughing and joking about what had happened to me. One guy said I deserved it. Even 11 years later I still remember that. But now that guy has 3 DWI’s so I feel pretty okay about it.